Being a "Jerk-Face"

You know what the Problem with self-realization is? It means you have to change. It means you have to change, or be held accountable if you don’t. Ugh, again with the change.

Today’s self-realization is that I am a Jerk-face. That’s the word we use in our house anyway. I think these beautiful things about people, and love them deeply, but then out of my mouth come harsh words, and sarcastic barbs. Why, and when did this become how I treat people? The worst part of it is that it wasn't even really a self-realization; it was a chastisement by way of the Lord’s Spirit. Double Whammy! I know I’m a “jerk-face” because the Lord told me so. My heart hurts. I apologized publicly for the moment that brought about the self-realization, and followed it with a more private, personal apology. The problem with words said is that an apology can’t erase the memory of them being spoken, nor the power that they will have on the individual(s) that heard them.

I guess the first step now that I have realized the true gravity of the situation is to be more aware.
While Driving home today, I found myself verbally assaulting the drivers around me in the exact moments I was contemplating how to say nice things. I don’t remember thinking rude things about my fellow drivers, but out my mouth it came. So I guess I have Step 1.

1. Be more aware of what I say and how I say it.

Words have power whether they are written, spoken, or just rolling around in your head. So my next step is to be aware of my thoughts. I am going to concentrate on the positive thing in my head, and out of my mouth.

There is a website started by and amazing songwriter and singer Hilary Weeks called billionclicks.org.

It began with a single click...and that first click was simply an experiment. She heard someone say we think over 300 negative thoughts a day. She was compelled to find out if that was true. So she bought a clicker - and started counting. Each day for one week, She clicked and counted her negative thoughts. After seven days of clicking each discouraging, gloomy, depressing thought –

She felt Discouraged, Gloomy, and Depressed

With that realization, the experiment changed. What would happen if She clicked all of her positive, uplifting, optimistic thoughts? Would She feel positive, uplifted and optimistic?

That is exactly what happened.
Clicking heightened feelings of Motivation, Strength, and Confidence.
This story brought me to my next step, and helping me to be accountable and aware.

2. Change my thoughts and words one click or tally at a time.

I don’t have the time to click the computer all day and frankly anything that gets me on the computer is counterproductive to my day, but I can stick a piece of paper in my pocket and keep track. So I will work on awareness, and actively replacing my current thought and speech patterns with positive one.

My third step is the most important. I will include the Lord and my family. I know I can do it if The Lord will help me, and my children have patterned themselves after me. So I will undo the damage I have done by including them in my journey. I know that they will be more than willing to help remind me when I slip-up, but I also hope that they will join me.

3. Include the Lord and my loved ones.

It’s going to be hard to be patient with myself. I am horrified over my behavior and trying very hard not to mentally or verbally belittle myself. I am forgiving myself for past mistakes, and asking the Lord, and anyone else I have offended to please do the same.

You may not have a problem with being a jerk-face, but how often do you tell people the positive things you think? I love to tell perfect strangers the nice things I think about them. Have you ever heard nice “gossip about yourself” It’s the best! If gossip spreads like wildfire, then use it to spread your love and admiration for people. Have you ever talked positively about one your kids, your husband, or friend to someone else when they were nearby listening? There is nothing better than hearing positive things about yourself. So I purpose that we spread the positive things we feel about people. It is a rare moment when you will ever hear me say anything negative about my husband or my children. This for one very good reason, I love them, and I think they are amazing in spite of any faults they might have. So hear is a great truth!

If all you ever hear about are someone’s faults; you will find them faulty, but if all you ever hear about them is praise; you will find them praiseworthy.

Do the people in your life know they are praiseworthy? I am going to make sure that the people in mine do, starting with you. Thank you for being a positive uplifting part of my life. For being my cheerleaders and for your positive words that keep us going stronger when we falter. May the Lord bless you and keep you. Merry Christmas!

www.billionclicks.org

BILLIONCLICKS.ORG