Being a "Jerk-Face"

You know what the Problem with self-realization is? It means you have to change. It means you have to change, or be held accountable if you don’t. Ugh, again with the change.

Today’s self-realization is that I am a Jerk-face. That’s the word we use in our house anyway. I think these beautiful things about people, and love them deeply, but then out of my mouth come harsh words, and sarcastic barbs. Why, and when did this become how I treat people? The worst part of it is that it wasn't even really a self-realization; it was a chastisement by way of the Lord’s Spirit. Double Whammy! I know I’m a “jerk-face” because the Lord told me so. My heart hurts. I apologized publicly for the moment that brought about the self-realization, and followed it with a more private, personal apology. The problem with words said is that an apology can’t erase the memory of them being spoken, nor the power that they will have on the individual(s) that heard them.

I guess the first step now that I have realized the true gravity of the situation is to be more aware.
While Driving home today, I found myself verbally assaulting the drivers around me in the exact moments I was contemplating how to say nice things. I don’t remember thinking rude things about my fellow drivers, but out my mouth it came. So I guess I have Step 1.

1. Be more aware of what I say and how I say it.

Words have power whether they are written, spoken, or just rolling around in your head. So my next step is to be aware of my thoughts. I am going to concentrate on the positive thing in my head, and out of my mouth.

There is a website started by and amazing songwriter and singer Hilary Weeks called billionclicks.org.

It began with a single click...and that first click was simply an experiment. She heard someone say we think over 300 negative thoughts a day. She was compelled to find out if that was true. So she bought a clicker - and started counting. Each day for one week, She clicked and counted her negative thoughts. After seven days of clicking each discouraging, gloomy, depressing thought –

She felt Discouraged, Gloomy, and Depressed

With that realization, the experiment changed. What would happen if She clicked all of her positive, uplifting, optimistic thoughts? Would She feel positive, uplifted and optimistic?

That is exactly what happened.
Clicking heightened feelings of Motivation, Strength, and Confidence.
This story brought me to my next step, and helping me to be accountable and aware.

2. Change my thoughts and words one click or tally at a time.

I don’t have the time to click the computer all day and frankly anything that gets me on the computer is counterproductive to my day, but I can stick a piece of paper in my pocket and keep track. So I will work on awareness, and actively replacing my current thought and speech patterns with positive one.

My third step is the most important. I will include the Lord and my family. I know I can do it if The Lord will help me, and my children have patterned themselves after me. So I will undo the damage I have done by including them in my journey. I know that they will be more than willing to help remind me when I slip-up, but I also hope that they will join me.

3. Include the Lord and my loved ones.

It’s going to be hard to be patient with myself. I am horrified over my behavior and trying very hard not to mentally or verbally belittle myself. I am forgiving myself for past mistakes, and asking the Lord, and anyone else I have offended to please do the same.

You may not have a problem with being a jerk-face, but how often do you tell people the positive things you think? I love to tell perfect strangers the nice things I think about them. Have you ever heard nice “gossip about yourself” It’s the best! If gossip spreads like wildfire, then use it to spread your love and admiration for people. Have you ever talked positively about one your kids, your husband, or friend to someone else when they were nearby listening? There is nothing better than hearing positive things about yourself. So I purpose that we spread the positive things we feel about people. It is a rare moment when you will ever hear me say anything negative about my husband or my children. This for one very good reason, I love them, and I think they are amazing in spite of any faults they might have. So hear is a great truth!

If all you ever hear about are someone’s faults; you will find them faulty, but if all you ever hear about them is praise; you will find them praiseworthy.

Do the people in your life know they are praiseworthy? I am going to make sure that the people in mine do, starting with you. Thank you for being a positive uplifting part of my life. For being my cheerleaders and for your positive words that keep us going stronger when we falter. May the Lord bless you and keep you. Merry Christmas!

www.billionclicks.org

BILLIONCLICKS.ORG

Being Exceptional!

We have a saying in our house. The difference between being ordinary and being Exceptional is trying a little harder, or doing a little more than you have to.

When People praise me for my strength, my words, or my faith I have a very hard time accepting their compliments because I know the truth. I have no more strength than you, I have no more faith than than you, and my ability to articulate my feelings pale in comparison to the gifts of others. What I do have is a God who knows me, and he chose this exact trial for me and my family because of the intimate knowledge he has of me. He knew I was strong enough because he prepared me years ago. He knew I had the faith to rely on him because he had given me other experiences in the past that taught me to rely on him in even the small things. He knew I would have the right words to touch you and teach you through his spirit because they were his words, and he had taught me how to listen.

There is a saying that the Lord won't give us more than we can handle. Do you believe that? I believe that the Lord prepares us so that we can handle much of it, but then he sends his earthly angels to bear us up when we falter. He prepares those people too. Are we listening? When he is calling us to be the bearer of someone else's burden, are we listening? What if we don't listen? Would you condemn those around you to bear their trial alone, or will you be there to lighten their load for a while?

There was only one man who had to endure his burden on his own, In his darkest hour he plead for the cup to removed from him, and yet knowing it was his to bear alone he did his father will. In addition to those human hands, he sent us a Savior. Jesus Christ is the perfect example of being exceptional. He didn't just do more than he had too, He gave all, and it was for the least of us, and the greatest of us.

Being exceptional. In our house it means being Christlike. In a world that is cynical, and harsh. In a world where we keep our burdens to ourselves so we don't appear week, or flawed. I purpose that weak and flawed is what makes us exceptional.

Perfect people make me nervous. I assume they are either really great liars, con men, or that I have no value in their eyes because I am flawed. The thing is, I like my flaws. I will apologize for my messy kitchen when you come over, but it will be done hardheartedly, and you wont care when you are eating whatever yummy things I created while making that mess. I will probably be late because I was busy putting finishing touches on a lesson, combing someones hair, tying shoes, looking for the infamous missing shoe, or figuring out someone's last few math problems that are due in 20 minutes............and then I realized I forgot about me, so everyone's late because mom didn't want to arrive in her red flannel pajama pants she stole from daddy, with her hair in a messy bun that was once a neat bun, and no make-up on her face unless you count the bit of powdered sugar on her nose. So I'm late, Sorry? I'm flawed, but if you give me a full days notice that you are coming over I will have a clean house ( unless I can close the door) , AND look Pretty, AND give you something to eat if you're hungry. That's the thing about being exceptionally flawed. I can manage to whip up a semi gourmet meal out of seemingly nothing, but my magic does not extend to being able to rinse out a dish and reuse it when I am cooking...oh no I must use every dish I can get my hands on so the sink is overflowing with dishes. Those dishes sometimes mock me, and tell me I am a failure for not being able to cook and clean at the same time, but then my kids come home and I remember I am very talented delegator, and then Viola...those pesky condescending dishes are clean. See Exceptionally Flawed.

So I purpose this: You are exceptional! The Lord made you who you are, You are probably be an exceptional work in progress, i know I am. He is constantly preparing us for our next exceptional moment. Will you be willing to accept that moment when he calls on your particular set of exceptional flaws? Will you be that miracle for someone, and on the flip side, Will you be willing admit your flaws, and that you falter, and allow for someone else to be your miracle? The Lord never intended for us to go through this life alone. Even in those moments when we feel alone, and that this very moment is more than we can bear. Those moments when our chest aches, and it's hard to catch our breath. When the world seems to close in on us.... those moments are just that, a moment. Will you have the courage to turn to the one who suffered those moments before you? Who suffered bled and died for you, and in giving you that gift, he understands what you are going through in a way no other can? Will you give him your burden? Will you let others in, and bless them by allowing them to bless you? Will you say out-loud in this very moment, I am Exceptional! I have Worth! Your beautiful, messy, flawed version of Exceptional is exactly who the Lord needs to work miracles. He does Exceptional Miraculous things with the hands and faith of his overly flawed Children. So now you know, you were exceptional all along. You were just better at recognizing it in other people. Think of the ways you can change the world knowing that you are exactly who he needs, in exactly this moment. Thank you for being an exceptional part of my life, for blessing me, for cheering me one, and for helping to shape me into a better version of myself than I was before this particular journey.

Week 25 December 3rd - December 9th

Clark Family Update: Day 169
Wednesday December 3rd 9:00 am
Day 74 at home

Chase Update: We are approaching the 6 month mark in this journey. Can you believe it has been less than a year, it feels like a lifetime ago. Chase is very independent. His sisters help him tie his shoes, and he sometimes needs helps with the buttons of his shirts, but His fine motors skills with his left hand are improving slowly. He only has PT twice a week now, and he is getting strong again. His speech improves every week. People who aren't around him on a regular basis can understand most of what he says now. There are a lot of letters he's not so good at saying. V's, F'c, and L's seem to be the most difficult. He just can't seem to get his mouth to move right. We just have to keep reminding ourselves it has been less than 6 months when their is frustration.

Chase is only on one medication right now, and it is to prevent seizure activity. He will be one this for at least two more months. He has never had a seizure, but anytime their is injury to the brain, or in this instance another surgery the risk of seizure is significantly higher. We cheer every time he finishes the final pill from a bottle.

As far as attitude, well let's just say it depends on the day. He recognizes the importance of it, but he is tired of therapy, and Dr.'s appointments. I know that feeling. This last surgery was difficult for him. He has told me in no uncertain terms,that he is not doing it again. I understand that, we are waiting to hear back from the DR. but it will probably stay in and we will hope there are no complications in the future. Apparently it was supposed to come out within a month of going in, but it's easy to see how it was overlooked.

Things are pretty much normal on the sibling front. Chase is in the shower complaining about being cold because Brooklyn has the door open so she can see in the mirror, she is arguing about it fogging up, and he is telling her to get out. I'm laughing because the bathroom upstairs is empty, and I can understand every word from the other room. Little miracles disguised as bratty siblings.

Our family has gone through a lot of changes this last year, and change is usually uncomfortable. Phil and I are navigating back toward each other. It's an uncomfortable thing to realize you can survive without each other, and another uncomfortable thing to figure out how to get back to each other when life has created a chasm. It's incredible to love another person so much, and still be scratching your head and trying to figure out how you pulled away from them without realizing it. So this is our challenge, and we realized a major part of that Chasm is because we haven't been praying together. Survival mode tends to be so full of daily life that things get pushed aside. We are attempting each week to pick one thing that the other would like us to work on. this week I was asked to be more patient, and in return I asked him to participate and instigate more family time.
The secret to any relationships is the willingness of both parties to make it successful. The secret to any amazing relationships is to do the same, and include God in it daily. Our love has never faltered, but I am working on getting my friendship with my best friend back on the top of my priority list. The Miracle in all of this is knowing that we will be even stronger because we fought for each other.

We were blessed to have my Mom and Dad with us this last week. Everything is just better when my Mom and Dad are here. They calm me, and quietly go about life in a way that make me feel a littler saner, and a little stronger. It was difficult to leave them at the airport and drive away. I could have never made it through this experience without them. I wanted to give a public shout-out to my sister Kayla, and her family. While my parents were in North Dakota with me this summer, she held both of their businesses, and their home together while they were with me in Minot after the accident. She did all of that while raising four kids and building a house. Talking with my parents this weekend has really brought the reality of her sacrifice to light. I know it must have taken a toll on her Husband and kids, so thank you for making a difficult time easier.

I can feel change coming. The feeling has been hounding me since last January, and I would have thought the last 5 1/2 months would have met the requirement for that change, but alas it's only getting stronger. We have accepted that change internally and verbally as a family. We have made a commitment with the Lord that whatever he has in store for us we will accept. He doesn't have to humble us, or test us. We are ready and willing, and we are prayerfully asking him to guide us to the path of least resistance that the change may come easily and that we will recognize his hand in that change. We really don't know what it is, It could be a new job, a new state, new health issues, new callings in the church, it could be all of the above, but with the strength of a untied family, a Legion, and The Lord, we will be prepared.

This week my prayers are full of gratitude for the Legion of friends and family we have. 6 months ago the idea of this Legion would have been incomprehensible. I pray that you can continue to find the miracles in the small moments. I pray you have grown in the last 6 months as we have grown. I pray that your level of trust in the Lords has grown, and that you have come to understand that he has a plan for each of us. I pray that you learn to listen to the voice of his spirit, and to let it guide you even when the world is telling you it's ludicrous. I pray you have a new love for your family, and that you cleave to them. That you find joy in the moments you are in now instead of wishing for better ones. I pray as we approach this Christmas season that you are able to give the gift of service. That you are able to touch someone else, to let them know of God's love for them, and that he is aware of them and their needs. I promise you that if you ask to be someones miracle, the Lord will use you.

May your Christmas season be full of Christ, may the knowledge that he Lives, and that he loves you swell your hearts with joy. May you take that Joy, and that Christlike love, and bless all you come in contact with. May you stand as a beacon of light and hope in a world that feel hopeless, that because they know you they will want to know HIM. This is my prayer to you, and your family this holiday season. May the Lord bless you and keep you until we meet again. We are Legion! Merry Christmas.

Clark Family Update: Day 170
Wednesday December 3rd 2:00 pm
Day 75 at home

Speech progress! You will notice there are still letters and sounds he doesn't say well yet, but he is progressing so well.

Video Link 

Speech Progress 12/4/14

Next        ---------->  Week 28

Previous ----------> Week 24

Week 24 November 26th - December 2nd

Clark Family Update: Day 167
Monday December 1st
Day 72 at home

12:35 pm

Waiting for Chase's final surgery. He is getting his IVC filter removed. He has been waiting for over 2 hours and is now telling anyone who will listen to hurry up because he's hungry!

2:30 pm 

Chase's surgery was unsuccessful. The IVC filter has been in too long and the Dr. couldn't get it out safely. There may be another surgery in his future. 

Next        ---------->  Week 25

Previous ----------> Week 23

Week 23 November 19th - November 25th

Clark Family Update: Day 160
Monday November 24th 6:45 pm
Day 65 at home

Chase got his stitches in his head, and his feeding tube out today. He is finally free! 
He is really excited. The Physicians Assistant that we usually see was so amazed with how much better he was talking today than he was just a week and a half ago.

We got to see Dr Wease, who was the first Doctor we spoke with after the accident. He grinned today, and said he is doing so amazing, you told me he would be okay, and you were right we should have listened to you.  He is one of Chase's biggest fans. He saw him at his worst in the most critical moments, so these moments are so exciting for him.

We have to go back for a check up in three weeks, but until then we are back to our normal routine.

We got to make a side trip to the hospital to visit a family who has a teenage daughter in the ICU. It's such a blessing to watch God's hand at work in his children.

God is Good, and Life is great. We thank you for your prayers and faith and ask that the Lord will bless you and keep you until we meet again. We are Legion!

The left side of the pictures is where they replaced the skull.

A before an after picture of his stomach, he has two belly buttons now.

 No More Stitches! 

Next        ---------->  Week 24

Previous ----------> Week 22

Week 22 November 12th - November 18th

Clark Family Update: Day 148
Wednesday November 12th 7:45 am
Day 53 at home

Going back to school helmet free!

Next        ---------->  Week 23

Previous ----------> Week 21

Week 21 November 5th - November 11th

Chase Update: Day 141
Wednesday November 5th 12:00 pm 
Day 44 at home

Chase's CT was rescheduled for 5 pm today so Chase and BobbySue had a lunch date. He was so excited to pick out flowers and chocolates for her. He wanted to make her first date special. He still had to wear the helmet, but we got a picture before they left. 

Clark Family Update: Day 142
Thursday November 6th 
8:05 am

Good morning! We are all done with the preliminary stuff. We have met with the surgeon, nurses, and anesthesiologist. Chase is dressed in his gown with an IV in. He is waiting for them to come take him to the OR. They will prep and position him for surgery. Surgery is scheduled for 9 am he should be done by 10 or 10:30. He will then move to the recovery room and then the ICU




12:45 pm

Chase is in recovery now. He's awake, and in the next hour he will get another CT scan and then move him into the ICU. We haven't seen him yet, but we met with the neurosurgeon, and he was pleased with the surgery.

5:15 pm 

Chase is in the ICU. He is resting peacefully now that he has seen Phil and Me. His numbers all look beautiful, and he already told his nurse she was the most important person in the hospital and that she is beautiful.  It's so neat to see everyone again and get to thank them and introduce them to Chase.
Thank you for your continued prayers

7:10 pm

He's awake, he's hungry, and he wants to get out of bed NOW! All great signs he's going to be fine!

 

Chase Update: Day 145

Sunday November 9th 12:00 pm

Good New, Bad news!

Let's start with some Good News -

This is a picture of his incision site. They had to make it bigger. He saw it and said "eww yuck, I don't want that"

Chase's CT scan this morning was great! He is healing wonderfully, and we would be set to go home today if it wasn't for the bad news.
Bad News -

Chase has meningitis

Good news -

It's a slow acting strain he got from his last surgery and they caught it before it could cause much damage to his body.

Bad news -

It's resistant to most antibiotics. There is only one company that makes an oral medication that kills it. It's $50 a pill and Chase will have to take it for 6 weeks. Don't do the math - just don't. Instead pray the insurance covers it if that's the route we take. If the medication doesn't kill the infection from the culture then he will have to have an IV for the next 6 weeks for the antibiotic. He is so heartbroken. The soonest he will be able to be home is Tuesday.

I will be heading back down to Minot this afternoon to stay with Chase, and a very reluctant Phil will head back here to stay with the kids.

Please pray that he can kick this quickly, and that his recovery will be swift. Also please pray that his spirits will be high, and he can be positive. We love you all! We are Legion.

Kami Update: Day 146
Monday November 10th 7:45am

Returning to the hospital has brought up so many unexpected emotions and reactions. This morning I am typing this in the same room I lived in for 35 days. Sitting on the same bed that I wrote about some of the most heart wrenching experiences of my life. The same bed that I would collapse in exhaustion, or cry myself to sleep on. This is the same bed that I knelt next to a thousand times when I talked with, plead with, listened, and praised my Heavenly Father. It's the same floor that we covered with children and the tornado of stuff that accompanies 6 people. The same shower I was in when I was able to cry for the first time after the accident. The bathroom we were getting ready In the morning were able to start to sing again.

I almost had a panic attack the first time I walked past that ICU waiting room. The ICU room was a whole new set of emotions. The room, the beeps, the strange antiseptic smell. I was on the verge of completely losing it when I walked into his room. Then he looked at me in his drug induced delirium and breathed my name. This was nothing like last time! Sending him into a surgery healthy was Infinitesimally more difficult than when it was life threatening. For over four hours my stomach seemed to gnaw on itself, and my body refused to be still. I knew he was in the Lords hands, but the slew of emotions I was dealing with escalated each worry tenfold. Once he awoke,I realized what a blessing it was he didn't remember last time-for all of us. He hates being still, thank The Lord for electronic devices to keep him entertained.

I am finally getting closure and dealing with the emotions that I refused to address before. I was forced to push all doubt and fear aside because I was bombarded with it. I knew the Lords will and if I allowed the doubt and fear to creep in, it suffocated my hope and faith. So now I am allowing the reality that he almost died so many times to truly sink in. I can finally understand why people thought I was deluding myself and not feel resentment for their lack of faith. I can understand why there was a fervor of excitement in the ICU when news came that Chase was coming back. This week has been an amazing miracle in my own life.

I am so thankful for a Father in Heaven who knows me, and heals me. I have truly experienced the refiners fire. I can see now, how The Lord makes us malleable so that he can shape us into who we hesitate to become on our own. I am more than a little nervous about what he has in store for us now that he has prepared us.

I'm a huge work in progress, but my willingness to be of service to him in-spite of feeling inadequate for the task, is the biggest change I have experienced. I know exactly who I am. I know my strengths, and I am all too aware of my weaknesses. I am slowly learning that my weaknesses can be strengths, and to value them instead of allowing them to define my worth or worthiness.

My challenge for you today is to pick one or two of your biggest weaknesses. Look at them in a new light, and discover how they are an actual strength. Our weaknesses make us better people. Here are two of mine.

I see the world in black and white, and I have a difficult time understanding
( aka tolerating) other peoples views when they don't lineup with mine.

This weakness has allowed me to be really good at learning to apologize, I have learned the hard way being right isn't as important as acting right. I have also had the great blessing of experiencing the world a new way by giving value and appreciation to the way others see things. Seeing as how this is a current weakness, these discoveries usually come after chastisement from The Lord or a loved one. 

I usually just say whatever is on my mind. I must have been busy explaining to someone why they were wrong when The Lord was giving out the filters other people seem to have before they say things out loud.

This weakness has given me a gift from The Lord. He uses me as a mouth piece. I guess he figures If I am going to spew whatever comes to mind, he would give me the right words. I can usually articulate something in an easy to understand way, and allow you to feel exactly how I am feeling. I am under no illusions that This is me, but I am grateful that The Lord usually blesses me with the right words at the right time.

Facing our weaknesses are usually difficult, so be prepared that for most of us, finding something good about something that we shy away from or despise is momentous. As I wrote this I discovered enough weaknesses to fill a page, and I'm not as of yet evolved enough to be able to see all of the strengths that come from them all, but as I stated before I'm a work in progress.

Thank you for your love, strength, faith and prayers. May The Lord bless you and keep you until we meet again. We are legion!

Clark Family Update: Day 147
Tuesday November 11th 7:45 pm

We finally made it home!
Chase is on $300.00 a day worth of antibiotics, but we are home. Fortunately our amazing insurance is covering it 100%
We jumped into the car as soon as they released us so we could make it home in time for Young Men's (this is his youth group for our church)
He laughed when they asked him if he wanted to be wheeled to the parking lot in a wheelchair. Then he said " No thanks, Bye" and headed to the elevator. 
He is so excited to be here. We have to go back to the Dr's in Minot and for a CT scan on Friday, and then back again to Minot on Sunday for Stake conference. Then back again next week to take the sutures out.

Everything looks great with this incision and his brain scans. He hasn't had any painkillers since Friday or Saturday. We have just been impatiently waiting for them to figure out the antibiotics and set us free. So back to our semi-normal life tomorrow.

We didn't tell the kids we were coming home because Chase wanted to surprise them. He knocked on the front door, and was met with a giant hug from Talli and his other siblings.

The infectious disease Dr. wants Chase on the anti-biotics for two weeks but the neurosurgeon wanted him on it for 4 week. I asked him why and he said his worry is that with his body having a foreign object ( the bone flap) he can't afford to have it spread their. He was overruled. I asked how we know if it wasn't enough, and he said if we retest in a few months and it has spread. I choked a little at that reply.

So we will be praying it's long enough and that the Lord will rid his body of the infection. We Thank him for Chase's amazing recovery thus far, and ask him to continue with his healing. Thank you for your prayers, love, and concern. Your support has made this latest leg of our journey easier. May the Lord bless you and keep you until we meet again. We are legion!

Next        ---------->  Week 22

Previous ----------> Week 20

Week 20 October 29th - November 4th

Clark Family Update: Day 137
Saturday November 1st 11:00 am
Day 42 at home

This is week 20!!!!! In Celebration I am going to lead you into our latest miracle with a quote from my last post.

" “Chase was asked to bear his testimony in Stake Conference in a few weeks. Uhm? Okay! I will just have him write it down, read it and I can be the interpreter, or perhaps the Lord will grant him a miracle and he will be able to do it himself.” "

Guess who’s soft palette started working yesterday!!!!! I picked him up from school and he said “Happy Birthday” I just smiled at him and said Good job Bud, that was really clear, and then it hit me – he didn't plug his nose to say it. I imagine my eyes got huge and my jaw dropped as realization set in. I know I gasped and my head whipped over to a grinning and excited Chase. “Chase!!! You’re soft Palette is working!” A still grinning and well pleased Chase responded perfectly clear “ I know, I’m Happy!

No it’s not my birthday, but he has been practicing it because the H, B, P, and D sounds all use his soft palette. This moment was trumped a few minutes later when we got home and I told Phil that Chase had something to tell him.
“Hi Dad!”
It’s like reliving those moment when they are little and they say it for the first time. Phil was so excited and full of praise.

The next amazing moment was 2 hours later when he went to speech therapy. He walked in and said “Happy Birthday” to his therapist – “Say it again” she said! “Happy Birthday!” She looked at me, and I laughed and said nonchalantly– “His soft palette started working today” like it was no big deal. I was able to attend 15 of his therapy before I had to go get the other kids from school. She had him read a lot of p, b, words and said more than once – “It just started working?”LOL

Just like every other step in his recovery – apparently it just doesn't work like that. Keep in mind it has only been 48 hours since they were practicing those same words and Chase was plugging his nose to keep the air from escaping.

I shouldn't be surprised that it happened this way, it’s how the Lord has worked his miracle with Chase all along, but I thought that our moments of huge miracles were passed. I have been worried about Chase’s surgery, and the risk of complications and setbacks. I haven’t been dwelling on them, but the worry has been there simmering in the back of my mind. This miracle has set me at ease. Regardless of complications or setback that could occur during the surgery the Lord has just reminded me that he is still guiding Chase’s recovery.

He still can’t speak very well, he has a very long way to go, but now that his soft palette is beginning to work it will be so much easier. I have a feeling that it will get even better after he has his surgery, though it may take him a few weeks to be back at 100% after the anesthesia and drugs they will put into him. We are super nervous about the pain meds after watching him go through withdrawals the last time.

Monday, Chase and I will head down to Minot to do a pre-surgery check-up. The Doctor just wants to make sure he is in good health and there have been no new concerns or illnesses. No more testing that I know about so it seems like Thursday will be a go for surgery. Surgery will be at 5 am and he will be in the hospital for 3-4 if there are no complications.

Thank you for your prayers on his behalf. We truly believe that your prayers for his soft pallet over the last 3 months have brought this miracle about. God bless you for loving us enough to pray for us. Please continue to do so this next week.. Pray for his medical team, and for us to be at peace with whatever the outcome. Please pray that his pain will be managed so that he can have as little medication as possible, and they will have the discernment to give him the best pain medication for his body. We are so excited for this last big surgery to be over so we can move forward.

Our goal is to have him back in school full time after Christmas break, and that can only happen if he doesn't need therapies so often. So we pray that his therapy sessions will be optimized. That chase will continue to recovery quickly and that his body’s ability to perform, and chases drive to recovery fully, will be in sync and progress according to the Lord’s Plan.

If you have been following our post from the beginning I wanted to give you joyous news. Our friends Justin and Erica will be arriving at Craig Hospital on Wed. They have been through so much, and fought so hard. I know she is tired, and home sick in the most desperate way. It has been 135 days since Justin’s Accident. Please add them to your prayers. Please ask the Lord, if it be his will, to allow Justin to excel there, and to progress rapidly. Please add your voices to ours in asking the Lord to heal him, and get him home quickly and whole. We pray that the Lord will bless you and keep you until we meet again. Thank you for being a part of our Legion!

Clark Family Update: Day 139
Monday November 3rd 8:00 pm
Day 44 at home

Chase and I headed to Minot today to meet with the Neurosurgeon for the last time before surgery. Everything looks good at this point and surgery is scheduled for Thursday. Wednesday evening he will get a final CT scan, and then we show up at 5 am Thursday Morning.

Tonight Chase, Phil and Boston headed to the hair salon, and our friend Lacy gave them all matching haircuts to prepare for surgery. Chase wanted to still have some hair after the surgery so this is the haircut we decided on. We also took pictures so you could see the missing bone flap, it's pretty intense looking. Now you can really understand the need for the helmet. Chase is so excited to never wear it again!

Before the surgery Chase and his friend BobbySue made plans for him to take her on her first date. She told him in the ICU that he needed to get better so he could take her out. Wednesday they will be each others first date. Chase is really excited!

This week we are praying for the medical team to be guided, and for chase to heal with no complications. The risk of complications are low, but they are super serious if they occur. We know that the Lord is in charge, and we pray that his will be done. We love you and pray that the lord will bless you and keep you until we meet again. We are Legion!

It took so long for all his hair to grow back :(

Now you can see his missing boneflap.

The Boys

Next        ---------->  Week 21

Previous ---------->  Week 19

Week 19 October 22nd - October 28th

Week 19 October 22nd - October 28th

Clark Family Update: Day 129
Friday October 24th 3:00 pm
Day 35 at home

The last few days have been interesting. The Seizure medication that Chase was on caused him to be extremely emotional. He was experiencing drastic mood swings, and was slipping into a depression. He has been so happy and positive this whole experience so this last week has been scary. We were super relived when we figured out it was the medicine (and by we, I mean Phil) He is now back to his normal self, and it was just in time for some not so awesome news.

They have rescheduled Chases's surgery. The MRI results showed that there is still a little brain swelling. The doctor pushed surgery back tentatively to the 6th of November instead of the 28th of October. Chase did not get his G-Tube out either. They decided to keep it in in case of complications in surgery. Kind of a bummer week for Chase, but he is just rolling with it.

Chase was asked to bear his testimony in Stake Conference in a few weeks. Uhm? Okay! I will just have him write it down, read it and I can be the interpreter, or perhaps the Lord will grant him a miracle and he will be able to do it himself.

He tells me everyday that I am his best friend, Though I usually rank as #2 best friend. He loves me, he's happy, so I'm happy. Not much else matters when you have the love of 5 angels. I am blessed to have Phil, he is usually in the background arranging things so that I look good in everything I do. I am usually a compete wreck behind the scenes and he just goes about picking up the slack and making everything come together beautifully. I try to the same for him, but sometimes I make it worse, and provides him with endless entertainment.

We are still praying daily for his soft palette to work. He is definitely speaking a little better, but we continue to petition the Lord to heal him in his own time. We are praying that everything happens when it should. We are in no hurry for surgery if it isn't the best time for Chase. We pray the Lord blesses you. Thank you for your love and continued support. We are Legion!

Next        ---------->  Week 20

Previous ---------->  Week 18

Week 18 October 15th - October 21st

Week 18 October 15th - October 21st

Clark Family Update: Day 125
Monday October 20th 10:00 am
Day 31 at home

This past week was spent at going to many Dr.'s appointments and doing a lot of testing to prepare for Chase's upcoming surgery.

Monday- Chase had an utlra-sound on his arms to check his blood clots. He is Blood clot free, Hurray. No more blood thinners!

Wednesday - We went to Minot for a CT scan, and then met with the Neurosurgeon to discuss surgery and overall health. The CT scan showed that part of Chase's brain has not gone back into the skull. This could be a result of swelling or he told us sometimes the brain just doesn't go back in on it's own and he will need to do it.
If the brain is still swollen, surgery will be postpone for a minimum of another month. He scheduled us an MRI which is much more detailed. we had to do blood draws after our appointment, after which Chase passed out. The Doctor also put chase on anti-seizure medication again. The surgery has a lot of risks, and an increase risk of seizures is one of them.

Friday - We met with our family Doctor to renew his prescriptions and do a bunch of pre-surgery testing. He had an EKG, a Blood Test, a Urine Test, a Chest X-ray, and they swabbed him to test for MRSA. I recorded them drawing his blood in case he passed out again ( he denies it ever happened) but he stayed conscious the whole time.

Saturday - Chase went in for his MRI, Our Doctor is out of town until the 23rd so we won't know for sure whether there is swelling or not until 5 days before the surgery.

We are just moving forward and preparing like the surgery is going to happen on the 28th, and if it doesn't we just move forward until it does.

Sunday - Chase boarded the school bus yesterday evening for an overnight trip to Bismark for a choir trip. I am so thankful for Mac and Parker for being willing to keep an eye on him. He was so excited to go and I was equal parts nervous and excited for him. We "talked" last night on the phone, and he told me things were going great! I will be glad when he's home tonight. Thank you Mrs. Rooke for allowing him to go.

This Thursday Chase will be getting his G-Tube removed (feeding tube) He is so excited! He hasn't used it for weeks, and it's the last leash left from the accident.

We are all happy and healthy. You will usually find Phil and at least one kid out hunting with the dog and the Hawk, or the Dog and a gun. We have been feasting on Pheasant. Priest ( our Vizsla) is fitting in with our family so well. He cried all the way home today after I dropped Boston and Talli off at school today. He's claimed them as pack. Alora, Chase and Brooklyn all have upcoming choir concerts. Our music programs are really phenomenal here. The passion that their teachers have for them and the music is apparent in their performances. I get to teach seminary for the rest of this week while the regular teacher is out of town. I am pretty excited about it. I love the Gospel, and I learn so much when I prepare a lesson. We are abundantly blessed, and loved, and happy. I try so hard everyday to show my gratitude to the Lord by serving his Children. I am by nature a self involved person so it takes a lot of effort on my part to be aware of other peoples needs, and to pay attention to what is going on around me long enough to recognize their needs. While the natural desire to serve and recognize a need in other are not my gifts, my desire to serve my fellow man, and to ease the burdens of those around me is enough when I allow the Lord to guide me to those in need.

Where much is given much is required, and I try to meet those requirements each day, I pray that it will become easier for me to serve, Willing and ready hands can change the world faster than the most able hands.

We are still praying for Chase's soft palette to work, and we still pray he can be patient and learn to deal with frustration. He is doing so well and we want him to keep being positive and happy and hardworking. We pray that the Lord will continue to bless you and keep you. We are Legion!

Next        ---------->  Week 19

Previous ---------->  Week 17

Week 17 October 8th - October 14th

Week 17 October 8th - October 14th

Clark Family Update: Day 117
Sunday October 12th 10:00 am
Day 23 at home

I know it has been over a week since I posted an update other than the video, but that is actually a great thing. Life has settled into our new version of normal, and we are all just engrossed in our daily activities.

While Chase was in the Rehabilitation hospital I was called to be a seminary teacher, more specifically his seminary teacher. Now that we are home and he is able to attend his regular seminary class I am blessed to get the opportunity to teach seminary on Friday's.

Chase is in a regular English class now, and he is really wanting to get into his AP history class. He was cleared by his PT to walk in the halls with the other Students, but Phil and I Veto'ed that. He may be stable enough, but until he has his surgery his brain is still too vulnerable if he were to take a fall.
We aren't sure if he is talking even better this week or if we are just getting better at understanding him, either way, as I am sitting here typing this I can hear Brooklyn and Alora in his room visiting and laughing with him. Prior to the accident I spent many nights on my knees asking the Lord to help me bring them closer together......... I prayed for a lot of things that he granted to me in one fell swoop. Perhaps in the future I should be more aware of what I am asking the Lord for 

Chase is still in high spirits, except when I want him to do chores, then he suddenly gets tired and reminds me he has a brain injury.

I finally felt normal enough to start decorating for Halloween this week. Last week I was actually dreading it, and I decided I wasn't going to dress up. If you know me you know that's not a good sign. Today I have my costume all planned out, and a few of my children's ready. My yard is 75% decorated, and my spirits are high- my house however - Yikes. LOL Anytime I start getting creative my house kind of explodes. I'm not sure how to balance the creative with neat and orderly. So I guess the Halloween Festivities have to be put on hold for a while. BOOOO!

Our lives are full of homework, and snuggles, hurried meals, and Therapy sessions, Early mornings, and crawling on hands and knees looking for that one shoe that always hides. I am so blessed.

Tomorrow Chase will get an ultrasound on his arms to check his blood clots. If they are gone we will head to Minot on Wed. for a CT scan and a Dr.'s Appointment with the Neurosurgeon. If everything goes well there we will meet with our family Dr. to get blood work done, and then if everything goes well, Chase will have surgery the last week in October. That's a lot of" if everything goes well's." I'm not worrying about it though, either it's the right time for his surgery or it isn't, and the Lord has led us through this every step of the way so far. I handed all the things that I can't control over to The Lord so I am in great hands, and I just do my part and wait to see it all unfold.

We continually pray for his soft palette to heal. He learned to say S's, and V's and T's in speech this week, but he has to do it all with his nose plugged. I have to keep reminding myself that the Lord has promised to make him whole, but he didn't say it would be in my time frame. Chase is ready to be back in school full-time, but it's just not a possibility right now. So our prayers for his Soft palette to work continue, and we add them to our prayers of thanks to the Lord for amazing blessings, for his love and guidance. We pray for you. We pray for the monumental challenges you are facing, and the small things that you experience daily. We pray that he will bless and keep you. We are Legion!

Next        ---------->  Week 18

Previous ---------->  Week 16

Week 16 October 1st - October 7th

Week 16 October 1st - October 7th

Day 106

Wednesday October 1st

9:30 pm

Clark Family Update: Day 106
Wednesday October 1st 9:30 pm
Day 12 at home

Today Chase Started his Outpatient therapies. Chases new PT cleared his to go to school without a cane or a Gait belt. He is so excited. I am hoping he is back to school Friday or Monday for the mornings. Chase has been doing so well using a straw. He is able to get so much more water by mouth now. As soon as he consistently is drinking enough water he can get the G-tube removed from his stomach. It's the final leash now that he is free of the gait belt.

Chase is going to early morning seminary without me now, and a classmate and friend brought him home from class yesterday. We are working on independence with the help of peers for short periods of time.

We have been so blessed by his amazing school leaders and teachers, and great therapists. The Lord is so gracious, and has brought amazing people into our lives to help us transition.

I complied the last 15 weeks of this journey onto a blog so it can be accessed conveniently.. I mainly did it for our family. Chase has never read all the updates nor has he seen all the pictures. It was ridiculously impossible to find them all on the phone app. I am anxious to share his story with him. It's one thing to her about his miracles, its another to read them Chronologically from those who were immersed in it.
Chase still has a long way to go with his speech. He still has weakness and inattention issues with his left side that prevent him from efficiently preforming the activities he did before the accident. Please continue to pray for him. Thank you for your love, and support.
May the Lord Bless you and keep you! We are Legion.

Day 108

Friday October 3rd 

9:00 am

Clark Family Update: 

Day 14 at home

We have been together as a family for two weeks now. The saying "Love Heals" has never been more apparent than in the last two weeks. Miracles are taking place everyday. Tiny, almost imperceptive miracles,  that all of a sudden build up into an amazing miraculous moment.

As we traveled to Seminary this morning we were listening to music and singing our hearts out. Chase was behind me and he was "singing" along. All of a sudden he sang the first 3 words of the line of the song almost perfectly. Brooklyn and I turned wide eyed and looked at each other. We both got extremely emotional, but kept the wonder to ourselves as he continued to follow along with the song. The constant confirmation of the Lord's hand in our lives is incredible. 

Today Chase returned to School! He no longer has to wear a gait belt or a use a cane, unless he he walking for long periods of time.  He is still in outpatient therapies in the afternoons 3 days a week, so as a trial period to gain a better understanding of where he is a emotionally, physically, and educationally, he will attend school from 8-11:45 each day.  The school staff and I will be actively monitoring him over the next month to see if it is too much or if we can increase the workload and lengthen his attendance hours. He is so excited to be back! 

It was difficult for me to drop him off at seminary this morning and let him go to school on his own. It helps that he has Brooklyn there,  as well as many friends who can help him. 

I convinced a reluctant Phil to take a few days off for vacation to spend a few days with his brothers and his Dad. They haven't all been together for two years, and I refused to let him miss out on the opportunity. So here I  sit . Alone. I am pondering, and rejoicing in every crazy moment that has led me to this moment. To truly stop and let the peace envelope me. I have the ability to completely separate myself from a situation emotionally so that I can deal with the task at hand. It's both a blessing and a curse, but in these still,  quiet moments,  I allow myself to process it all, and it's incredible.


We need our Legion. These next few weeks,  Please join us in praying for Chase's soft Palette to begin to work consistently. That he will be able to create the neuropathways needed to regain more of his speech. I refuse to ask the Lord to miraculously restore everything. We would never trade the hard work, patience, and growing experience for a faster end result. We are already progressing at warp speed, but the Lord gives us tender merciful moments to still appreciate the past paced journey. So will you petition the Lord for Chase?  Will you ask for the Lords will to be done, and that we can recognize his hand? We especially need your children s prayers. We believe that their prayers are the Lords favorites, and we can feel they the strongest. :) Thank you for sticking with us. May the Lord bless you and keep you.. We are Legion!

Day 109

Saturday October 4th

Clark Family Update: 
Day 15 at home

Yesterday Chase did something amazing! He RAN! I had a heart attack, but he was doing it under the supervision of a Physical Therapist who cleared him to jump, hop, and jog for short distances. I'm still not sure how I feel about that.

This photo was sent to me today. With the following note:


Finally wore out this morning. I can't tell you how much strength this little band has given me as it has redirected my thoughts, again and again, to the blessings you and your family have so richly received.

Hundreds of youth and adults wore these bands in support of my son. This particular band was given to a young man who missed the opportunity to receive one. This is the original Chase Bracelet. The very first made by my daughters, and given to my husband days after the accident. It was made during a time when we waited to see the Lords Plan for Chase. He passed it on to someone who desired to have an outward expression of the support he was giving us. 

This morning I can't help but see the beautiful symbolism of this special band breaking  within 24 hours of Chase being cleared to run. Chase has broken the bands of his affliction. He has worn away his impairments one fiber at a time with his faith, hard work, and determination. The Power of the Lord coupled with the faith, love, and power of a Legion, have amplified the erosion of his handicap. He has defied the odds, he has destroyed the medical expectations, and stood in defiance of the possible. He has learned that with God all things are possible, however must be willing to hand ourselves over to him and be an instrument in his hands, rather than expecting the Lord to be an instrument in ours. 


I pray we shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint. I pray that we learn to give ourselves over to him, and trust him. In a world of instant gratification, I pray that we learn to have patience in the Lord, and revel in the journey rather than doubt, complain, or curse the Lord for our afflictions. With that being said. We are still directing our prayers to the healing of Chases soft palette, and for him to continually improve. We ask for it to be done in the Lord's time frame, and for the peace and patience to find Joy in the Journey. May the Lord bless you and keep you. We are Legion!


Next      -----------> Week 17

Previous -----------> Week 15